Semah?

Problems

1. This sign is in a building housing primarily females. 2. The boy is obviously caucasian, since it's not possible for Asians to have missionary parts like his. 3. Being ambitious evidently means wearing a tie and bright blue sports coat. 4. The sign is pink. 5. Rampant sexism, in China? Never. 

Facing Tess

In a land where everyone has the same complexion, same height and same hair color, you can see Tess from a hundred feet away. She's the only kid with a single pig tail on the top of her head. The other kids make fun of her whale spout, but I like it.

Perhaps it's the farsighted minimalist in me, but I love this picture. 

Running to EDK

The kids call their 3 hour block with us EDK. We have no idea what EDK stands for. But whatever they can remember is fine with us. They run up to see us for three important reasons. 1. We have candy. 2. We don't smack them like their normal teachers. 3. We sing Popcorn Popping. 

Traffic jam

The marching students often have to wait for other marching students to pass. This particular pile up has our 2nd graders waiting for passing high schoolers, while trying to aovid the garbage truck passing them. It's a dangerous life being three feet tall. 

Chinese logic

That's a pretty good student : teacher ratio. 

I don't think this picture even deserves a title. Just don't waste a single. Don't do it. 

Please, please don't

Ah, the old Golden Rule. Please don't apply and draw arbitrarily. The real question is: do kindergarteners know the word arbitrary? The really real question is: is there a Chinese word of arbitrary? The reallest real question is: why is there a picture of pharmaceutical equipment on this picture? 

Duh

Perhaps you could translate this: "Daily sanitation helps keep you clean." It seems pretty obvious, but you haven't seen these kids. 

No explanation required

The next few pictures are signs we pass every day. Some make little sense. Others make no sense. Most have grammatical errors. Enjoy. 

Meg's new lover

Meg has given up on men. Electric space heaters are where it's at. They don't belch and are rarely out late drinking. They keep you warm at night and are that sexy construction-work yellow. I can certainly understand her reasoning. But good luck getting Utah to recognize the union. 

3 Pounds Lighter

Here's the new do. I don't know how often I'll go with the actual faux-hawk, but the length certainly is more manageable. Although I lost the over-the-ears hair and beard, I still have my long sideburns to show that Honor Code who's boss. 

Stylin'

Here are three of my four stylists. Meg was taking a break and huddling around a heat lamp. You might think that everyone is wearing hats because it's near freezing in this room. You'd be correct about the temperature, but not on the motivation. They're actually wearing hats because they're embaressed how much cooler my hair is than theres. Hair envy is a sad thing. 

One more Wolvie

Wolverine contemplating. Perhaps he's reflecting on Japanese literature. Maybe it's macroeconomics. Maybe it's "Why the heck does X-Men 3 have Callisto, Stacy X and Juggernaut as villains?" 

Whatcha lookin' at Bub?

Here's me mid transformation. So sad that my extreme sideburns and massive mane timing didn't line up with Halloween. I think I make a pretty convincing Wolverine. It's also too bad that they don't Halloween in China, and that if they did, they wouldn't recognize Wolverine. I'll just have to settle for walking around my apartment looking like The Clawed One. 

Boldly Fro where no Sorensen has fro'd before

This is my hair before the great cutting began. After the cut Meghan told me me she thought my hair "looked like a 50 year old college professor trying to be cool." I'll accept that it was bad, but not 5yocpttbc bad. 

Harry Potter is of the devil!

Here's Ningbo's magician supply store. Why can't they spell Potter? Dunno. Maybe Popoo sounds cooler in Chinese. It's certainly mighty cool in English. As a further question, what exactly is that a picture of? Is it a witch? If so it's a dang ugly one. And not witch-ugly, just unrecognizable ugly. 

Dynamic Duo

Emma and Lauren are the new it couple. Tess and Emory are so last month. Emma enjoys calling male teachers mamacho, which means "worm" but evidently has an alternate definition. Lauren has discovered kissing at an exceptionally early age, so she warrents extra attention when you lean down to her face level. 

MoMiEd

Here's a fun class. Monica, the one who's imitating a robot, punches anyone who hugs me. Michelle, the one who's not imitating a robot, speaks fluent Spanish, Mandarin and fairly good English. Eddie enjoys looking through frisbees a little too much. 

Longshen Days

That kid is wearing a Mickey Mouse sweater. Do you think Mr. Eisner is selling Disney products in rural China? It's obviously a knockoff. I considered ripping the sweater from his back, throwing him in the filthy stream and calling the authorities. But then I remembered: I hate Disney. You go kid! Fight the man! 

I believe it was Abraham Lincoln who said . . .

For goodness sake, LOVE SCIENCE! How many times have I told you? If you don't love it, it won't love you. And if science doesn't love you, you're screwed. 

Watchin the game, drunkin a Bud

Chinese children are just as enchanted by Toy Story as are American ones. I don't think they understood many of the jokes, despite watching it in Mandarin, but they sure were impressed by the CG. A fun game they invented was yelling English words whenever they saw something they recognized. DOG! HOUSE! TREE! That never got old.